I didn’t make a friend
The other day we went to a lunch for a friends birthday. Most families didn’t know each other but only had the friend in common. We arrived late with our kids in tow and on the way had explained to my daughter that it doesn’t matter that we didn’t know anyone, there will be other kids her age and she will make a friend in no time.
When we arrived, every single child was on their own iPad or a DS. Head down, conveniently quiet but disturbingly antisocial. Not one looked up from their game to say hello. The part that shocked me the most was that these families were strangers to each other so it wasn’t like it was an agreed thing to all entertain the kids the same way – they had all chosen to do this independently from one another.
My daughter had thought we could play shadow puppets while we waited to get her doll from the car. We were cracking our selves up at the ideas we were coming up with, we got to the point where we had the giggles and couldn’t stop laughing. The Dad across the table gave US a funny look while he was sitting there surrounded by his kids in their own digital world.
In the end my son and daughter played with their toys together and left without making a single friend out of the 12 other children that were there. What are we teaching (or not teaching) our children by giving them these devices so that we can have an extended lunch. There is a time and a place to learn from technology but it’s equally, actually more important to ensure our kids learn the right level of social skills.
Children need to learn patience with out entertainment. They need time to be bored so that they can think, imagine and create. They need to have their heads up and away from a screen so that they can say hello to that other child sitting across from them. They should be running, smiling, laughing not quietly absorbed in their own game.
Childhood is the time where you lack the inhibition to walk up to a another child who is complete stranger and give them the benefit of the doubt to become a friend. Childhood is the time when a shy smile is all that is needed to get the ball rolling before a day of fun can be had.
As we grow up we become less open to meeting new people. Where are we going to end up in society if we never learn to be open from the start. Especially now that we already live in a world where people are constantly in touch and connected via social media but increasingly alone.
*Here is a photo of a recent trip overseas. We were invited to visit a small village. The my children didn’t speak the local language and the children of the village didn’t speak English but they all made friends with in minutes….a smile was all it took and they were off! One of my favourite days.
